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I love coffee. Sometimes people try to switch my coffee to decaf when I’m not looking. I can always tell the difference. I also like Pringles, but only the reduced fat kind because they crunch better when you bite into them and they don’t leave grease on your fingers. I’m…

About Me
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As part of our quest to support women’s issues, Katana Photography is excited to announce our first ever Celebrating Survival contest!
Having any kind of cancer is frightening and confusing. In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Katana Photography is welcoming all survivors from all forms of cancer to participate…

Weekly Photo
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When I was looking to buy my wedding invitations (back in April), I found a lot of designers on Etsy. After narrowing it down to a couple different designs/companies, I contacted both for their pricing list. One was pretty significantly more expensive–almost $2 per invitation more. Which I think all…

Weekly Style
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When talking to people about photography, I hear one phrase over and over again: Kids and dogs are the hardest subjects to photograph.
I, personally, don’t have this problem with my clients…kids and dogs are among my favorite things to photograph. Maybe it’s because I like to have any excuse…

Weekly Puppies
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Last week, Sean and I had our morning coffee on the balcony and watched as the Enterprise shuttle was pulled down the Hudson on a tug boat. It’s on its way to the Intrepid and I can’t wait to see it up close at the museum!

Weekly Coffee

Yeah, you’re totally the chubbiest 5′7, 90lb woman I’VE ever seen.

Here’s a conversation I was a part of the other day at rehearsal:

90lb, 5′7 Blonde woman:
Ugh, Gawd…I feel totally bloated today. I had like seven M&M’s! Can you believe that? Seven! I really need to learn self-control.

Me:
(Remains silent. Hides my Snickers bar behind my back)

90.5lb, 5′6 woman:
Yeah, I know what you mean. Just be sure to eat a salad with no dressing tonight for dinner.

90lb, 5′7 Blonde woman:
But I don’t like tomatoes, cucumbers or carrots.

90.5lb, 5′6 woman:
So, get your salad without all that.

(They both nod in agreeance)

Me:
So, you’re just going to have lettuce for dinner?

90lb, 5′7 Blonde woman:
Yeah. (She shrugs, obviously seeing nothing weird about this)

Me:
Why don’t you add some avocado to that? Or tofu. Tofu’s healthy.

90lb, 5′7 Blonde woman:
Um, ew. Carbs.

Me:
Tofu’s protein. Not carbs. And avocado is nature’s miracle food. It’s really good for you.

90lb, 5′7 Blonde woman:
Whatever. It’s fatty.

Me:
(presses lips together, fighting the urge to make her look like the dumbass she is)
Ok. Enjoy your lettuce.

3 Responses to “Yeah, you’re totally the chubbiest 5′7, 90lb woman I’VE ever seen.”

  1. WordVixen Says:

    I can only say that I’m glad these women are not my target audience when I write.

    Thank dog!

  2. Merry Monteleone Says:

    Hey Colleen,

    what you should do is tell them that lettuce is all water and causes you to gain the much dreaded water weight and the only way to get rid of that is to drink a mixture of half apple vinegar and half olive oil…. mwa-ha-ha… that will actually clean out your system… but it’ll send you to the bathroom for the better part of two days.

    I just wanted to drop you a line. It seems my email has been dropping emails again. I just found out I missed a few which is more than a little annoying, since I sent out friggin queries on Friday!!!! Only four, but still, if it drops any of the returns, I won’t even be able to check for a number of weeks.

    I’m going to switch over to gmail for the rest of my queries - but if you’ve sent anything that I haven’t responded to it’s probably because I didn’t get it.

    Take care and I’ll talk to you later.

  3. Jerseygirl89 Says:

    I.Hate.Women.Like.Her.

    I also feel some pity, but it’s mostly hate.

    You’re a better woman than I am.

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