colleenkatana.com - So Many Birds, Just One Stone

I love coffee. Sometimes people try to switch my coffee to decaf when I’m not looking. I can always tell the difference. I also like Pringles, but only the reduced fat kind because they crunch better when you bite into them and they don’t leave grease on your fingers. I’m…

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Ways to Charm Me:

July 25th, 2008 | Posted in Uncategorized |

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about ways to annoy me. I decided to write a not so negative slant in similar form entitled–

Ways to Charm Me:

Deny that you’re stoned when you’re, like, really really stoned.

Try to defend your wearing socks with sandals. You’re cute when you’re nerdy.

Understand that the food on your plate will always taste better than the food on my plate.

Nominate Clive Owen for an Academy award. Next step: convince him to do porn.

Trip while walking along down 5th Ave and then immediately look around to see if anyone noticed. THAT’S RIGHT! I NOTICED!

Tell your mother that you learned the word “Fuck” from your Aunt Colleen. Oops.

Imitate the Tom Cruise Risky Business scene, dancing around in your dress shirt and undies while I’m on the phone with my very conservative, very strict, republican father.

Tell me that an octopus has eight testicles instead of tentacles because you’re six and you don’t know any better.

Don’t make fun of me when you catch me almost crying during reruns of Grey’s Anatomy episodes.

Join me in singing 80s power ballads. In the middle of Times Square.

Let me hit the snooze button 12 times in the course of one hour.

Tell me the sloppy brown colored pasta sauce I spent an hour cooking still tastes good even if it looks like puke. You’re such a good liar.

Pretend not to notice when I burn my tongue on my coffee causing some to dribble down my chin.

5 Responses to “Ways to Charm Me:”

WordVixen Says:
July 28th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Testicles! :-p~

I won’t ever be able to call my husband “octopus man” again without laughing!
Jules Viernes Says:
July 29th, 2008 at 1:33 am
Hi,

I’m Jules and I work at bestrank.com, a company interested in blog advertizing. I found your blog engaging and I’m contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

If you are interested, kindly mail back for confirmation(jules@bestrank.com).Please include your blog’s URL.
Looking forward to doing business with you.

Sincerely,

Jules Viernes
BestRank.com
Lynne Murray Says:
July 29th, 2008 at 5:40 am
Sing with me in the mornings as we get ready for work, the life drained out of us, but enough spirit left to mutter “Work sucks. I KNOW.”
Colleen_Katana Says:
July 29th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Word - Aww, I totally ruined your sweet nickname with hubby! SORRY!

Lynne - Look at your baby pic! You look exactly the same, I LOVE IT. I will be checking your blog soon, love.
jt ford Says:
August 26th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Ha HA! This is awesome. Brilliant.

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Ways to Charm Me:

5 Responses to “Ways to Charm Me:”

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