"Seeking Literary Agent"
This is an ad I found on CraigsList today:
“Seeking Literary Agent!
I am a first time novelist with a unique opportunity
seeking an agent. The manuscript is solid literary fiction
and has commercial potential. Contact me for more details
and information on the book.”
Um, are you effing kidding me? Here’s an idea Ms/r. First Time Novelist. Do some research! If you spent the time to write the book–spend the time to get it sold! Don’t just sit on your ass waiting for an agent to come to you, cause guess what, dipshit? This industry doesn’t work that way! Actually, wait–I take that back. In the small case that you did actually write something quality, I think you SHOULD just wait for the agent to contact you. (One less query letter that’s competition for me!) You go ahead and eat those Doritos on your dusty old recliner while watching Regis and Kelly. Be sure to shoot me an email about who they interviewed today while I’m working hard earning a living here at my desk. Maybe you should get up sometime around noon and make some lunch…or better yet, order in. By dinner time, I’m sure your inbox will be FLOODED with potential agents begging to hear of this “solid” literary fiction you have waiting for them. Awesome plan. Good luck, dude.
Can you tell I’m cranky today?
February 20th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
hahaha i like this one. it’s funny. maybe cuz it matches my mood too. want to rant about the wedding dress industry for me??
ugh…
February 20th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
You should check out craigslist curmudgeon, he makes fun of these people all the time… well, these people and the ones offering, “credentials” rather than actual money for filling their rags with content.
I feel a little sorry for this person because they may well get an inbox full of scam artist ‘agents’ looking to bilk them out of money… but then again, I’ve spent a large chunk of the last few years researching agents, submission requirements, manuscript formatting, publishers, my genre, other genres, writers markets, and studying my own craft… all of that time I could have been leisurely writing instead of doing the legwork… umn… you know, if I didn’t want to actually get published.
You’re right f*@% him - less competition for those of us actually working at it.
February 21st, 2008 at 12:26 am
Oh, the responses will be flooding in. But actually selling the book is not something that I think will happen.
I’m thinking “money flows away from the writer” will become his mantra.