I love coffee. Sometimes people try to switch my coffee to decaf when I’m not looking. I can always tell the difference. I also like Pringles, but only the reduced fat kind because they crunch better when you bite into them and they don’t leave grease on your fingers. I’m…

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As part of our quest to support women’s issues, Katana Photography is excited to announce our first ever Celebrating Survival contest!
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I, personally, don’t have this problem with my clients…kids and dogs are among my favorite things to photograph. Maybe it’s because I like to have any excuse…

Weekly Puppies

Last week, Sean and I had our morning coffee on the balcony and watched as the Enterprise shuttle was pulled down the Hudson on a tug boat. It’s on its way to the Intrepid and I can’t wait to see it up close at the museum!

Weekly Coffee

Paging Dr. Shepherd

I know that it is horribly main stream…but I am in love with Patrick Dempsey. Not so much Patrick Dempsey the man, but more Derrick Shepherd, the character he plays on Grey’s Anatomy. The character he becomes on that show is charming, and kind, charismatic, intelligent, a life-saver, benevolent, tender, passionate, and never without perfectly tousled hair and a slightly disheveled demeanor.

Now, I know this man doesn’t really exist. I realize that he is the product of Shondra Rhymes’ imagination and Patrick Dempsey’s “talent” (I put it in quotes because I KNOW you will all pounce on the fact that I think he has talent), but who cares? He is my fantasy to have and dammit, I’m going to make it count!

However, when I’m sitting there on my couch, gazing lovingly at the television while McDreamy saves his most recent patient from the latest organ-eating Venezuelan parasite that has somehow infected all of Seattle, it’s all I can do to not daydream that I am the patient on the hospital bed being poked and proddod…and I tell you what, nothing kills the fantasy more than when my Dempsey-hating boyfriend adds commentary every five seconds, bursting my fantasy bubble.

Him: This show is so terrible. Look at that! A doctor would not pull a nurse into the on-call room while the chief of surgery stands ten feet away!

I’m sucked back to a somewhat reality and all of a sudden Sean is standing in the doorway of my hospital fantasy. I grudgingly wrap myself back up into the hospital gown and blow a kiss to Dr. Shepherd who returns it with a wink and says in a raspy voice, “I’ll give you two a minute.”

Him: Colleen!
Me: Huh?
Him: How can you watch this shit? I love you less now.
Me: Well, no one’s making you sit here and watch. We have two tv’s, you know.

He pauses, not going anywhere. I start to nestle myself back into my fantasy, when…

Him: This guy sucks!
Me: (I sigh) He sure does. (And nibbles…I say in my thoughts)
Him: Look at him! I bet that stubble is makeup… painted on.
Me: Even better…smoother against my skin.
Him: No, seriously, how can you like this guy?
Me: Why does this bother you so much?

And that’s when I knew exactly how to answer. It would most certainly NOT get him to shut up, but I was DVR-ing Grey’s anyway. I could rewatch later. And the reaction that was about to come was going to be priceless….

Me: Seriously? You want to know?

Sean nodded.

Me: He just reminds me so much of you, baby. (I leaned over and rubbed my knuckle against his stubble)
Him: WHAT?!?! How can you even say that!?

I shrugged.

Him: Take it back! We are nothing alike! (He jumped up from the couch, flailing his arms about) This guy is totally vanilla!
Me: Mm, I like vanilla…it’s classic. Though, I also like chocolate (My mind slipped to Taye Diggs, yum).
Him: This is absurd! He doesn’t even stand for anything! I’m like Henry Rollins, and Hugh Jackman, Chris Meloni and Mike Ness all rolled into one!
Me: Who?
Him: Mike Ness!
Me: ….
Him: Social Distortion?
Me: Mm, not ringing any bells.
Him: Why are we even together?

(Another long pause)

Me: Because you remind me of Patrick Dempsey.

The rest of my show was watched in glorious silence, me sporting a smirk, him with a scowl.

My victory was short-lived, though. He managed to get his revenge when he told me that Sarah Silverman was in his top three. Sarah. Silverman. The horse-faced comedian who is whiny and annoying and has GOD AWFULLY large nostrils. Seriously? And these already massive nostrils flare to the size of grapefruits when she laughs at her own jokes…and who ISN’T annoyed by someone who laughs at their own jokes??

Ok, I get it to some extent why a man is attracted to her. She does have a certain something, and she’s intelligent, clever, and (sometimes) funny. But to make her one of your TOP THREE? C’mon…

He has become obsessed with the idea of me having a crush on someone like him. And yet, let’s examine the celebrity crushes he has…are they short, petite, flat-chested girls with rounded features who are categorized not so much “sexy” or “attractive” as “cute”? NO! In fact, they are the absolute opposite…and as much as I would rather slowly char my own flesh over a campfire and eat it between graham crackers and marshmallows than say this next statement…I will admit that both Sarah Silverman and Sheryl Crow bear a striking resemblance to his ex girlfriend!

It almost makes me want to come home and confess a newfound love for Clay Aiken. But even I won’t stoop that low…

3 Responses to “Paging Dr. Shepherd”

  1. WordVixen Says:

    Sheryl Crow and Sarah Silverman? Yuck! Two of my least favorite celebs. Even Angelina Jolie seems to have some redeeming qualities (attitude, mostly). Yuck, yuck, yuck!

    I’ll mark his attraction to you as his recovery from bad taste.

    And my hubby does it too. Drives me up a wall! Me: I want a few hours of escapism.

    Him: this is gay. This is gay. How can you watch this? Gay.

    Followed by a rant of which the subject is nothing that I give a rat’s butt about while he’s standing in front of the TV. And all requests to “please shut up and go away- I’m watching a movie” fall on deaf ears.

    And we have 5 tvs hooked up to cable. An X-Box, Atari, Sega Genesis, two computers, and he creates board games as a hobby. But the second I turn on something of which he does not approve (and it can be HGTV or Disney Channel as well as movies or the show Girlfriends). *grinding teeth*

    The only actor that I watch because of a crush is Alan Rickman, and hubby’s a fan of his, so I’m sure that doesn’t count.

  2. Colleen_Katana Says:

    I KNOW!! Double Yuck! He’s got such weird taste…

    Wow, you’re husband really has NO excuse. We have two tv’s but only one is hooked up to cable and the wii (such a blast…gonna go play here in a minute!) and the other can only play dvd’s. But whatever…I suck it up and find something to watch on the other tv when he insists on watching Batman the animated series and the History Channel…I THINK he can show me the same respect during Grey’s Anatomy!

  3. jt ford Says:

    “and as much as I would rather slowly char my own flesh over a campfire and eat it between graham crackers and marshmallows than say this next statement”-that’s PRICELESS! This is hilarious. I read Sean’s version of the events on his blog, too. You both appear wonderful together.

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