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As part of our quest to support women’s issues, Katana Photography is excited to announce our first ever Celebrating Survival contest!
Having any kind of cancer is frightening and confusing. In recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Katana Photography is welcoming all survivors from all forms of cancer to participate…

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Bumbling Grace

There used to be this guy–well, a man really. Long before the boyfriend! and I ever got back together. And this man and I worked together…I refuse to say where or what show for fear that someone may figure out who he is. He was my superior. And he…was…gorgeous. Think of him in terms of a Greek God type of gorgeous. Chiseled features, great body, dazzling smile, sparkling eyes…even his name was delicious and rolled off the tongue. And me–the 22 year old southern girl who had just moved to the city was smitten by him. I could not sit in the same room during a production meeting without the warmth spreading into my cheeks. I always bumbled around him, I’d trip over my own feet, falling into his rock hard chest…spill my coffee on his latest pair of Seven jeans…and overall just make an utter fool of myself over and over again.

One night at a company party, we were all out drinking. I was wearing one of my prettiest dresses, a yellow chiffon flowing number that hugged me in all the right places. I had only had a couple glasses of wine, but was still feeling a bit toasted. At about midnight, I knew it was time for me to head home and I started making my rounds to say goodbye. When I reached HIM, he pulled me in for a hug and to his friends at the table, said, “I love this girl!” and then looked directly in my eyes and restated the fact: “I love you.” And he said it gently the second time…not sarcastic, or goofy or in a joking manner. Just very matter of fact. Like it was common knowledge that I should know. And then he kissed me lightly on the cheek, his eyes returning back to mine, waiting for a response.

And I knew that THIS was my moment. I could tell him I loved him too…that together we could be so happy and get married and have many beautiful babies. This could be the turning point in our relationship. I opened my mouth to profess my love…and the only thing that came out was: “flegum.”

Flegum?? Yes, that’s right…flegum. A nonsense word. My mind was so flustered, I couldn’t even form an existing word …only incoherent mumblings that made no sense.

His eyebrows narrowed and a smile crept across his face. He pinched my cheek and continued, “Go on home and get out of here…sleep off some of that wine.”

I slinked out of the bar so, so disappointed in myself. Once again, my bumbling grace did NOT get me the guy.

5 Responses to “Bumbling Grace”

  1. Mitch Says:

    I love it. I think we’ve all done / said something so mind-blowingly dumb in the search for love/lust/attraction!

    Too funny!

  2. TJ Says:

    Nice. I remember once when I was in 7th grade my crush was walking behind me alone in the stairwell. While trying to make the coolest ascent that’s ever been attempted in any earthy stariwell, I actually manage to trip UP the stairs…twice. Strangely, I don’t even remember who the girl was or even what she looked like, but I do remember how mortified I was. From now on, however, I will consolidate myself with the knowledge that i did not say something “flegum”. Sometimes, the best intentions are left unsaid.

  3. Colleen Says:

    Hey Mitch! Thanks for stopping by. Yeesh, we’ve all DEFINITELY done something stupid in the name of love. My biggest fear right now is that he’ll stumble upon this, remember that night, and be like…”Oh my god! She’s obsessed with me!” And in the case that this happens, I want to state for the record to the mystery man: I NO LONGER HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU!!!!

    Phew, glad that’s off my chest.

    Hey TJ!! Yeah, I’ve definitely fallen down my share of stairs. Though, I don’t know I’ve ever fallen up them…twice in a row. When I told my parents my flegum story, it took them a year to stop saying ‘flegum’ to me instead of ‘I love you.’ It was nice having that CONSTANT reminder of my idiocy. And by nice, I mean annoying.

  4. Ennyl Yarrum Says:

    So I have a funny story, too…

    I had this crush on the same guy all four years of high school, and it was pretty pathetic. We sat together in Calculus in the far corner of the room, pretty much by ourselves (there were only 12 kids in the class). I always let him cheat off my papers during quizzes and tests, but didn’t care.

    One day, he got called up to the board to finish a problem, and while he was up there, I totally checked him out. Like, full up/down, pause on the ass, check-out. And my best friend CAUGHT ME DOING IT. And to this day will not let me live it down. At least he didn’t see me do it.

  5. Jeff Says:

    oh colleen… you can dress her up… but what to do with her once she’s out? it’s kind of an adorable story actually =o)

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