I am 25 today. Yes, today is my birthday.

Usually people become reflective around New Year’s Eve; I, however, always find my birthday to be a little depressing. I’m always stunned by how fast the years seemed to have passed. I miss the days when birthdays were like Christmas. When I would wake up anticipating my favorite breakfast being made by my parents and themed parties with loads of presents and cake and SUGAR! But sometime after college, all that went away. Birthdays became just another day. Just another day that I still had to go into the office. Just another day that nobody really knew was the day I came head first out of my mother’s vagina. And in the uncomfortable event that the topic did come up, it was followed by a half-hearted “Happy birthday. Now, back to these spreadsheets…”

I use eye cream now every day. Not for preventative reasons but because I NEED IT. Oh my God, do you see how monumental that is? And I prefer spending an evening at home playing Scrabble on my computer than an epic night of parties and drinking. And I no longer fit into my favorite pair of Seven Jeans despite the fact that I go to the gym 4 times a week. (I’m not sure I can blame this on the fact that I’m 25, but I’m sure as hell gonna try). And the worst part of everything is…Mean old Ms. Kruger from the second grade? The meanest teacher at Centerville Elementary School? SHE WAS 25!!!!!!!! I am the same age as mean old Ms. Kruger. Pretty soon I’ll be married with babies and those babies will be having birthdays and before I know it, my children will be all: “Mom, seriously? Those shoes with that dress? That’s soooo 2008.”