My Mom is the greatest woman alive and the best Mama you could ask for. Growing up she always made sure I had a healthy lunch packed and glorious baked goods coming out of the oven when I arrived home school. My bulbous nose, blue eyes and love of chocolate were inherited from her. My love of bad reality television was not.
My Dad is wonderfully goofy and loves to refer to himself as “Studmuffin” and my Mom as “SmutQueen.” Yes, I realize this is disturbing on many levels. As a child, I was convinced that we were part Asian because our last name is Katana and, well—my dad looks like he’s part Asian. See for yourself. I received my terrible eyesight (-950) from him as well as my very smelly feet.
My brother, Bo, is the oldest of my parent’s three children and by far the most reckless. He was the one who ran away from home. And who drank prior to turning of legal age to do so. But not to worry—he’s all straightened out and mature now. He’s been dating the same woman, Christina, for several years and one day I’m positive her awesome three kids (Alexis, Abegail and Ethan) will become his own. He and I share a love of pranks, art and annoying our other sister to absolute insanity.
My sister, Bridget, is the middle child and OH MY GOD YOU COULD TOTALLY GUESS IT JUST BY LOOKING AT HER! She is slightly neurotic and in my humble opinion could benefit from an enema once or twice or twelve times a year. Just kidding, Bridget…LOVE YOU! However, she is also the most organized and kind-hearted person you’d ever meet. There is no doubt in my mind she would do anything for me. She’s married to a fun dude named Adam who helps relieve the stress of life for her…that is, when he’s not the one causing the stress. Bridget and Adam had their first child–a daughter named Adelynn in August of 2007. She is the light of all our lives. Bridget is now not so much thought of as my sister as much as “that woman who birthed my adorable niece.” Bridget and I share a love of Grey’s Anatomy and would quit possibly rip each other to shreds over a night with Patrick Dempsey.
The Boyfriend! AKA Sean is my live-in boyfriend and BFF. He is a handsome geek who draws comic books for a living. We have two dogs…one of which loves hiking and fishing and the other has no concept of personal space and will spend hours upon hours staring at you as you work. Sean has an unhealthy obsession with sticking his fingers in my armpits and photographing me while I’m sleeping. We share a love for Gilmore Girls, Law & Order SVU, Willow and MXC. We do not share a love of Star Trek (him) or Grey’s Anatomy (me). I still love him despite this.
Eliza is my best friend from college and a single mom living here in New York. She has long dark brown hair, almond eyes (see the picture below), loves to dance and is looking for someone ambitious who preferably has a house in the Hamptons. Interested parties, please apply within. She and her daughter, Maddie, are the closest thing to family that I have in the city (Sean aside) and I’d be lost without them.
All My Ex-Boyfriends are mentioned on this website at some point since they tend to be the most entertaining stories. I obviously cannot name them all (yes, the list is that long), but I assure you, they will appear.
There are no pictures here for privacy reasons. And because many of them are attorneys. I fear a lawsuit.
Michelle is the friend I’ve had the longest, having known her since kindergarten and although we rarely see each other anymore, she is still and will always remain one of my best friends. She is featured on this site because of the ridiculous amount of stories revolving around our “coming of age”.
Missy and Lynne are two of my closest friends who unfortunately live hundreds of miles away. We met in Disney World on a photography internship where they introduced me to this incredible thing called alcohol. It is also thanks to these two that I will never again drink tequila. You can read about Missy’s life and business here and you can read about Lynne’s hysterically single life here.