Who out there needs incentive to subscribe to my website?  Hmm, I thought you might. Well, since I’m moving out of this horrible neighborhood in about a month, I started taking inventory of my stuff. Aaaaand…there’s a lot of it. Stuff that is. You know…shit, junk, crap…superfluous knick-knacks. The bottom line is that I need to downsize. And I’m starting with my books. So here is my girl-power book giveaway. In this package, we have Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin, Fresh Off The Boat by Melissa De La Cruz, and You Give Love A Bad Name: Timeless Poems of Tainted Love From the Pop Hit of the 70s and 80s. By the way…if you have a girlfriend who is amidst a breakup, this latter book makes a GREAT gift. (In fact…How do you think I got it?)

So, “How do I win such a cool package?” you may be asking? First, you need to be a subscriber to my blog. Just click on the RSS Feedburner orange logo thing at the top and choose the reader that best suits you. Then, comment on this post. In a week, I’ll write down all the names of the commenters and put them in a hat. Sean will video me pulling the name out of a hat just so you know that I’m doing everything kosher. And that’s all.  Dude, seriously? Who wouldn’t want free books? Especially now that it’s getting so cold out!

My site is entered in Blogger Idol 2, a contest created by Daniel at Daily Blog Tips. Apparently, to my understanding, the main way to win the contest is to gain the most RSS numbers during the month of November. Now, I’m not very good at these things. I am, quite literally, technologically challenged. I didn’t even know what the crap an RSS Feed was.

So, true to form, I started researching. How are the ways that you get people to subscribe to your blog? And why is it that the people who are already subscribers aren’t listed on the little counter thingy at the top? In my research, I discovered that there are a ton of gimmicks out there to gain readership. But you know what—I don’t know if I can do some of these things.  For instance, one tip was to keep reminding people in posts, over and over to subscribe to your blog. Can I pull that off? I don’t know…it all feels a little forced, I think. It would be nice to win this contest, but it’s definitely going to be tough for this baby of a site.  So, I’m going into it with low expectations…because really people? Let’s be frank. I graduated high school as an overachiever. I was in National Honors Society, Beta Club, French Club, the Debate Team, Chorus, Drama…but you know what? Being able to say, “I was in National Honors Society” was the only advantage I ever got in life from achieving these goals.  No one is hiring me now because I was a member of the NHS.  So the lesson learned here is AIM LOW. Save yourself some time.

And that’s what I’m doing with this contest. I am aiming to gain readership…not to win. If I DO happen to win $1000, that will be effing fantastic and I’ll buy everyone a cup of coffee who subscribed to my blog. (Only not really….because seriously? I couldn’t afford that. Go buy your own damn coffee, cheapskate.)

So, the moral of this story? Subscribe to my blog. You can do so by clicking on the feedburner thingy at the top of my menu bar and then downloading some crap. I don’t really know how it works because, have I mentioned? I’m a technological retard. And if you don’t subscribe, I’ll come into your home at night and eat your babies. Oh, yeah…and did I remember to tell you…SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG! (How’s that for repetition?)